Kazbanj, a multimedia talented dude opens up on how he married an American Lady through Facebook friendship. Among other issues, he also speak on how to nurture and maintain lasting relationship in marriage. Enjoy.
IT’S BEEN 3YEARS AFTER, HOW DID YOU MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
KAZBANJ: Yes ooo, just like yesterday 2017, from facebook Hi, to lifetime partners. It was like a joke when we started the conversation on Facebook. With sleepless nights, it was not an easy task for me, but from the first day when Facebook poped up her picture as a friend, I strongly knew that she is my wife. When I checked her profile picture I said to myself ‘who be this queen again oooo lol?” I quickly checked her pictures to see if I could find more beautiful pictures of her and to see where she came from. Unfortunately there was no location or information on her profile. I checked her mutual friends then found she was friends with an old Facebook girlfriend I have been asking out for a relationship. When I realized they were friends I was just confused about everything. Two days later I told myself this is my wife I have to go for her. I began to like her pictures and some of her posts before sending her a friend request telling myself anything that would make her accept my friend request means she’s mine, and she did. There were no messages from her that’s when I sent a direct message to her messenger. I wrote “Hello Mrs. Tallman” I was trying to play a fast one on her to know if she was a married woman or not. I waited for days for her response to know my faith. Throughout those days I was always with my phone looking out for any notification of her response. It took about 3days before her response came in and guess what it wa? ‘Lolzz not” Mrs”, ‘Miss Tallman’. Immediately I got that message I screamed in the office’ wow I have gotten a wife’ my colleague in the office was looking at me like this guy is really crazy big time. But to me I knew I had found my real love from that day. It’s just like in the bible when the woman with the issue of blood touched Jesus Christ and Jesus said someone touched me, I feel her touch. That’s how I felt that day. That is how we started with introducing each other from that August 2017, till date. No day has gone by that we haven’t talked or facetime each other at least 6 times in a day. “Facebook brought us Together”.
TELL US ABOUT THE ADVENTURE SO FAR?
KAZBANJ: The adventure has been a beautiful experience that will ever happen in my life, because i am involved with someone that understands what love is all about and cherish it. I remember visiting different places in Nigeria together. There was a day on our way from Atican Beach to visit Badagry slave Trade and the Point of no return in same Badary, my car was overheating and we were coming from Okun Ajah and had only gotten to isolo Badagry at 6:30. Pm. We still had like 4 hours or more before we get to Badagry if not more. I had to tell my wife “babe this is Nigeria, we can’t get to Badagry today. We should look for a mechanic here to fix this car, lodge in an hotel around here and by tomorrow morning we would continue our journey to Badagry”. On arriving Badagry the next day, we got our hotel room first to relax as we ordered for our favorite meals. Afterwards, our first visit was the slave trade, where one of the tour guides explained the stories. The most exciting part of the journey was when we visited the ‘Point of no return’. According to the guide’s explaination any slave that got to this point was gone for good because they crossed them with a flying boat to the other side of the ocean. When we were at the boat together my wife looked at me whispering to me “honey are you sure we have not been kidnapped to the SLAVE TRADE” . I laughed and laughed even the guide saw it on her face that she was scared. From the boat to the other side took us about 45 minutes. When we alighted it took us another 1hour 30minutes walk to get to the red sea where the ship will onboard the slaves. So far, we have visited different places in Nigeria, having wonderful moments together and it was all adventurous too.
POPULAR OPINION IS THAT NIGERIAN GUYS MARRY WHITE LADIES FOR SOCIAL AND FINANCIAL SECURITY. DOES THIS RING TRUE FOR YOU?
KAZBANJ: I don’t believe in such, we do have many wealthy young men here that marry white ladies just because of love and their culture, some don’t even have any plans of travelling abroad and they take good care of their white women here in Nigeria. I am an example. I married my wife just because of the character I perceived of her and she honors and respects me as her husband. These are some of the qualities I really want in a woman. She really changed my perspective and what I heard about American women behaviour, so it’s not really about social or financial security. I do send money to my wife from Nigeria to America and that’s not because I am a millionaire or billionaire. I am just a normal average Nigerian man living and hustling here. I do it because she’s my wife and its my responsibility to take good care of her as a good husband, and I have not seriously thought of staying abroad for now, because I have my business doing well here in Nigeria.
YOU MENTIONED THAT SHE IS OVER THERE AND YOU ARE HERE IN NIGERIA, HOW DOES THIS DISTANCE IMPACT YOUR MARRIAGE?
KAZBANJ: Well, we are still young and still have more years to live together. For now It really gives me more time to build my businesses. She still comes around often and we travel together for vacation to other countries and for our wedding Anniversary. With time we are going to decide where to base maybe in America or Nigeria, but we haven’t decided yet.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE KEY INGREDIENT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?
KAZBANJ: Understanding and communication is the key ingredient of our marriage. I married a woman who understands what marriage is all about, we do have disagreement sometimes because we’re coming from a different culture and background, but it doesn’t last more than an hour, no matter what the issues are we laugh over it. That’s the key ingredient. If there’s another life to come again, I will still marry her over and over again.
WHAT CULTURE SHOCK EXPERIENCES DID YOU HAVE?
KAZBANJ: The only culture shock experience I had so far was when my wife was coming to Nigeria for the first time, for our traditional marriage, non of her family members came with her. she came all alone, not that the family was never happy about the marriage. They were all in support of the marriage. They just saw it as something not really important since the two partners are happy. family members are happy too with the blessings, which is really different in my own culture, and this other thing that shocked me was that whenever we went out on a date she offers to pay the bills. In Nigeria you know the opposite is the case. The guy is expected to pay for things we bought especially as a husband. She would just go ‘babe let me pay for this you have been paying for everything’.
DID YOU ENVISAGE ANY KIND OF RESISTANCE FROM YOUR FAMILY?
KAZBANJ: Well, not at all. When I told my mom that there is a lady I met on internet, a Christian from America, and the way I see our friendship it will lead to a marriage, she said ‘OYINBO OMO AMERICA Kee? Laaduru gbogbo Obirin to waa ni Nigeria OYINBO le ri mu wa le’., I laughed. Meaning of all the ladies here in Nigeria, a White lady in America is who you decide to bring home, how will you be able to control her? The truth about it is that 90 percent of African mothers are afraid of their Son getting married to a white lady just because of what they do hear about American ladies lifestyle over there. The only thing that convinced my mom about my wife was when I told her she is a Christian and always pray for me when ever we’re on phone talking so when my mom heard all that she got a little convinced with that. When she spoke with her on phone and video chat, she was pleased so she just said If that is what God wants for your life that will give you happiness go ahead and God will make everything go well but she told me to fast and pray about it. Mum was all about a person having the fear of God be you Mr President’ s daughter or an American Citizen. If you don’t have the fear of God in you or be a God lover there is no way you can be a good person and you are not acceptable that way because she’s a strong believer. She told me to pray about it because marriage is a blessing from God “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord”. I use this opportunity to remember my MOM, Deaconess ESTHER MOJISOLA ADEFOLAMI. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.